Standing Orders

she turns the water on. hot. the steam fills the space between them. the dog tags hang on the hook outside — the first time they're off and she's not alone. 'water's hot.' 'so are you.' 'that's—' she doesn't finish because he's kissing her and the water is running and words are unnecessary.

her back against the tile. cold and hot — his body and the wall. his hands are on the tile beside her head and the water runs between them like a shared secret.

she lifts one leg. braces against the tile. the position is— tactical. the water runs over both of them and the sound covers everything she says. which is good. because what she says has no tactical value and full emotional yield.

steam swallows the room. she can barely see. she can feel everything. his hands. the tile. the water. her own voice saying things the steam absorbs and the tiles keep secret. the shower has heard commanders break before. it doesn't judge.

her legs threaten to give. he holds her up. the role reversal is complete — the strongest woman on this base held upright by someone she'd never have admitted she needed. 'I can stand,' she lies. 'I know,' he lies back. they hold each other up.

the shower floor. she sits between his legs, back against his chest. the water runs over both of them and the steam is a world with no rank and no war and no weight. 'the water bill is going to be—' 'shut up.' she takes his hand. wraps it around her waist. the shower continues. neither moves to turn it off.

she shoves him into the wall. the impact echoes. her hands on his chest, pinning. 'you looked at me in the briefing.' 'I always look at you.' 'not like that. not in front of—' he kisses her mid-sentence. the sentence dies well.

shirts gone. her back finds the wall — he reversed the position and she allowed it because the wall is cold on her skin and his chest is warm against hers and the contrast is everything.

he lifts her. her legs wrap around his waist — muscle memory from combat grappling repurposed entirely. her back is against the wall and she's eye-level with him for the first time. 'don't drop me.' 'never.'

the wall takes her weight and he takes everything else. the dog tags clink between them with every movement — a rhythm that has no regulation and no precedent. her nails find his shoulders. 'harder.' the command voice. even here.

her head hits the wall. eyes closed. the command voice breaks into something wordless and honest. the commander is gone. the woman is here and the woman is loud and the wall is the only thing keeping her upright besides him.

they slide down the wall. end up on the floor. tangled. her forehead on his shoulder. both breathing like they've run a combat course. 'the wall has drywall damage.' 'I'll fix it.' 'you'll fix it?' 'I broke it.' she's laughing. the commander is laughing on the floor of her quarters with drywall dust in her hair. unprecedented.

seventy-two hours. zero casualties. mission complete. she locks the door behind her. 'dismissed.'

the vest hits the floor. twelve pounds of kevlar and ceramic plate. she doesn't flinch at the weight leaving her shoulders. she never does.

the shirt comes off in one motion. clinical. efficient. the bruise on her ribs is new. she catalogs it without comment.

she sits on the cot. one boot. then the other. the socks underneath are regulation black. everything about her is regulation. almost everything.

pants folded. placed on the chair. even exhausted, the discipline holds. the woman underneath is lean muscle and quiet damage.

'at ease.' she says it to herself. the uniform comes off one button at a time. underneath the commander is just a woman with scars.

no rank. no insignia. just skin and dog tags and the sound of her own breathing. she hasn't heard silence in three days.

she falls forward onto the cot. doesn't pull the blanket. the commander sleeps like she fights — alone, efficient, and without asking permission.

shrapnel. left side. superficial. she waves off the medic with a look that could stop arterial bleeding on its own.

'I'll handle it.' three words. the medic leaves. rei opens the jacket with steady hands because unsteady hands are not an option.

she lifts the shirt to the wound line. no further. the cut is clean. four inches. she's had worse from training.

needle in. through. pull. she counts stitches like breathing exercises. one. two. three. her hand does not shake. four.

seven stitches. field-clean. she wraps the bandage herself because letting someone that close to her body requires a security clearance she hasn't issued.

bandaged. buttoned. done. she sits for one moment with her head down. just one. then the commander stands back up and the woman disappears.